Burning Thorns: Snippets + A Call for Beta-Readers [Closed]

Happy October!!! Am I the only one in shock it’s already October? Because like…WUT??? But, at the same time, I’M SO EXCITED. The last three months of the year are my faaaave. Between the weather cooling down, NaNoWriMo approaching, and holidays upon us, there is so much excitement to be had during October/November/December.

I am in fact getting geared up to start doing some serious NaNo plotting, and will be talking about all that soon (seriously, get ready, it’s getting that time of year where all the talk around here is NaNo #sorrynotsorry). BUT, I’m also still doing some finishing touches to the very thing I’ve been pouring basically all my time and energy into this year. You guessed it…

BURNING THORNS.

I feel like at the point you all groan at the mention of that story, since I’ve been talking about it for literally years now. Buuut hopefully you’re not too tired of it??? Because today I’ve got an exciting announcement (which you all already know what is if you read the title of this post and paid attention to the giant banner above but we’re pretending that’s not there for dramatic effect).

*drumroll*

I’m looking for beta-readers!!!

After doing a major edit to it earlier this year, and then some more polishing and tweaks just this last month, I am officially ready for others to look at it!

Buuut before I throw a sign-up form at you, you may want some info to see if you’re interested in investing your precious time into it. Annnd I’m also sharing SNIPPETS. Because it’s been a while, and I always tend to share snippets after I’ve finished a draft.

 

BURNING THORNS INFO

. . . BLURB . . .

The Dragon’s shadow is spreading, and only a terrible sacrifice can stop it.

Since childhood, Rose has shivered at the tales of a beast known as the Dragon—he who cursed the once beautiful fae world into a land of shadows. But when her sisters’ betrayal sends her fleeing from a slave trader, Rose escapes to the one place no one would dare follow: the Forest, home of these fae.

The stories quickly prove to be far more than myths when Rose is attacked by a horde of dark fae. Thanks to a young masked man, she finds a safe haven inside his enchanted castle surrounded by roses, where candles light themselves, food magically appears in the dining hall, and a kind elven woman is mysteriously trapped in the mirrors.

But who is this quiet man who shrouds himself in robes and masks and lives in such a strange place?

Rose is determined to seek answers and bring joy back to the lonely castle. But her hope of finding a new home has blinded her to the shadows growing under the man’s mask and the truth of the Forest’s curse. And only an unthinkable sacrifice can end it all.

Wordcount: 113,500 words (but don’t worry it’s a standalone, with potential for sequels about other characters, but this story it still totally complete on its own)

Genre: Young Adult Fantasy, Beauty and the Beast retelling

Content: Being a Beauty and the Beast retelling, there’s some romance, but it’s actually not super heavy. Most of the story is more focused on the characters trying to stay alive and break curses and not be eaten by creepy fae and fun stuff like that. With that said, it is rather dark, and there’s sooorta magic in it. There’s not exactly a magical system, but the fae do have otherworldly powers, so if magic is not your thing, you may not like this, which is perfectly fine. But other than a touch of magic and dark creepiness and normal fantasy violence (some blood, sword fights, evil beasts terrorizing people, etc.), it’s all clean.

 

SNIPPETS

You can find the Pinterest Board HERE for more visuals.

“Bare feet pattered just behind him, and only a few seconds of silence followed before she spoke again.

“What is he like?”

“Who?”

“The beast that haunts the Forest.”

Muscles tensing, he ducked his head deeper into the hood. “What do the humans these days say about him?”

“That the Forest wasn’t always this way. It used to be a happy and bright place, but not long ago a terrible creature took reign over it and spread his shadow, tainting it. The fae fed off his shadow and became the dark, wicked things they are now. Some call the beast a”—her words halted before she whispered the name—“dragon.”

He clenched and unclenched his fingers. “They’re not far from the mark.”

 

“He was so pale against his black clothing. Pale hair, pale skin—what little was visible past the half mask. His curly, shaggy hair dropped over his eyes down to the nape of his neck. To her surprise, he hardly appeared much older than her. Really, he could almost be handsome if not for the strange mask covering half his features.

“Why do you wear it?”

His body tensed. The gloved hand resting by his plate curled into a fist. “Wear what?”

“The mask, the gloves. Everything. Why do you cover yourself like that?”

Like daggers, his eyes shot toward her, freezing her in place. They were an unnatural green. Bright and sharp.

She swallowed. Why couldn’t she just be quiet for more than half a moment?

For one heartbeat, his pupils changed shapes—two long dark slits piercing into her very being. But the sight was so fleeting she wondered if she imagined it.

 

“The boy’s lips slanted to one side as he eyed Marigold up and down. “Today is proving to be very interesting. Girls are popping up every which-away. Who are you, then?”

Marigold quieted her wheezing breaths and stilled under his probing gaze, eyes narrowed. “Marigold,” she answered cautiously. “Who do you think you are?”

“At last, someone is gracious enough to ask. You sister here seemed to have forgotten proper formalities.” He shoved himself from the branch and bowed, one hand spread wide behind his back. “Lark at your service, m’lady.” Once straightened, he pressed two fingers on a branch. Slowly, he raised his hand, and a small crimson flower ascended underneath, as if he were pulling it up from the bark itself. He plucked up the tiny thing and stretched his hand through the branches and thorns toward Marigold. “It’s a pleasure,” he said, every tooth showing in a too-big grin.

Marigold’s cheeks burned as bright as the red petals, her eyes twice their original size. She tentatively reached for the proffered gift. “How did you do that? And— Wait a moment! How did you know we’re sisters?”

“Natural talent,” he said, as if that explained everything.

 

“The Dragon tore through the Forest. Clawed past bushes and trees, hurtled up inclines, pounced over rocks and ruins. He did not know where he was running to, or why he was running at all, but he could not stop. Could not face the destruction behind him.

Perhaps that was it. Fear. Fear of what he was becoming…had become.

Murderer.

 

“Cacophonic shrieks exploded from the darkness. Rose snagged Father’s arm, clinging to his sleeve. A heavy thump snapped her attention to the window where dark, leathery faces and black eyes peered at her from the outside. The dark fae crawled along the windows, their grotesque shadows dancing across the floor and walls. Winged beasts hurled into the panes over and over. Talons screeched along the glass. Fairies with tattered wings and fingernails mutated to pointed claws, nymphs with shadows wisping around their emaciated forms, sprites who seemed to pull the darkness around their bodies instead of illuminate light. So many creatures consumed in darkness.

And then their whispers came, and Rose’s blood turned cold.

“She is ours.”

“Give her to us.”

“Ours. Ours!”

 

“With new resolve coursing through her bloodstream and energizing her from the inside out, Rose backed away from the door. “I’m going to make everything right, Dragon.”

“Rose…” His voice wavered with fear. “What are you planning on doing?”

“I’m going to find Lystraea.” What she did after that needn’t be voiced, not yet. “Although…I don’t actually know the way home.”

A pause, and then, “Head straight north from the castle, it’ll take you to the Forest border into Cantrelle.” Was that amusement in his tone?

She couldn’t help smiling. “Will you escort me there?”

“I’m sorry, I can’t.”

“Please, Dragon. Why won’t you come out?”

“I don’t want to put you in danger.”

 

“Have you come to kill us, girlie?” a nymph hissed.

The Dragon’s smile fell away. He crouched low, snarling. Rose’s back was to him, making it impossible to see her expression, but her shoulders rose and fell with heavy breaths. The fae shifted, murder gleaming in their eyes. The Dragon dug his boots into the earth. A deadly silence filled the air.

“No.” That single word, spoken so softly yet with such assuredness, snapped away all the tension. “No,” Rose repeated, louder now, straightening her shoulders, standing a little taller. “Enough with the killing. Enough fighting and murdering and darkness—it has to end.” She held up the dagger, stirring the creatures again, but then she hurled the weapon away, where it disappeared in the shadow of the Forest. “I am not here to harm you. I want to help. But you have to help as well.”

 

“No matter what she did, the darkness always won. Where was the light? Where was hope?

“Stop!” she cried again, but her own sob and the dark fae’s shrieks drowned out her futile plea. The agonized screams of the men had stopped, and when the dark fae parted, her defenders’ bodies lay dead at her feet. She threw a hand over her mouth, the tears spilling over her fingers. “No…”

The dark fae turned to her, hunger oozing from their eyes.

With shuddering breaths, she pulled her hand down, bated her tears, and looked to each of them. “Take me. Just do it. Finish this.”

Erm, yes, there’s lots of drama. Just how I like my stories. Bwahahaha. Though there is some lighthearted moments and a touch of snark (namely from a certain Lark *cough, cough*) in between the feels.

 

BETA-READING INFO

Okey doke, to the technical stuff now that I’ve given you a taste of what you’re signing up for.

As mentioned, Burning Thorns is a project I’ve been working on for a long, long time. It’s on its 3rd (4th-ish?) draft. I did in fact have a group of beta-readers for it a couple of years back, and have since incorporated all their amazing suggestions and have done a ton of work on it since. But because I’ve done quite a few changes, I would absolutely love for it to be swept over once more by a group of eyes that aren’t mine. I need some fresh brains on this thing! (That sounded creepy…) BUT if you already beta-read it and want to do it again PLEASE DO. I LOVE YOU GUYS!!! And would be totally honored. But nooo pressure on anybody, former beta-readers or not. These days I very, very rarely take on beta-reading projects myself. I just can’t seem to find the time. I know it’s quite an undertaking, so only sign-up if you really want to. Okay? Okay!

I will actually prooobably be querying this project while you guys are reading it, which may be weird. But, like I said, it’s gone through many edits and beta-readers before, I feel mostly ready to start (fiiinally) searching for a literary agent with it. But still, I’d love to have some people look at this newest draft and gather opinions!

 

TYPES OF CRITIQUES
I’M LOOKING FOR 

• Typo Sweeps: I’m the #TypoQueen over here, and though I’ve combed through it multiple times, I would not be the least bit surprised if I’ve missed a few.

 

• Grammatical Errors: Guys, I still get proper uses of lay and lie confused, IT’S BAD. So yeah, if you’re good at grammar, I NEED YOU.

 

• Line Editing: Sentence structures off? Wording choices weird? Paragraphs strangely placed? You noticed I used the word “just” 347 times? I want ALL suggestions!

 

• Major Thoughts: Gaping plot holes, awkward character arcs, unbelievability factors, literally ANYTHING you find wrong with the story, I want to hear about it!

 

• Minor Thoughts: A chapter that feels unemotional, a paragraph that should be cut and changed, some dialogue that seems out of characters, all those little things.

 

• ANYTHING: Basically, I love any and all thoughts, so let ‘em loose!

IMPORTANT NOTE: This does NOT mean every single beta-reader has to do ALL these things. If just one of these are your specialty, I’d love to have you! Basically what I’m saying is I’m looking for all things in my beta-readers. Finding typos aids me just as much as pointing out plot holes. It’s ALL helpful in making my story the best it can be. But I do ask for honest input. Trust me, I live off critiques. I crave them. How else can I write a good story after all? You will not hurt my feelings. It helps me so, so much when my readers are honest with me. So my one requirement is DON’T HOLD BACK. If you see something off, TELL ME!

 

MANUSCRIPT FORMAT

The first time I had beta-readers, I sent the book in a Google Docs file that everyone could access and make notes on. I absolutely loved that system, because each person could see the other’s notes and bounce off them (plus we just had a lot of fun chatting there and making inside jokes!). I’d love to do that again. Though Google Docs can get laggy when it’s filled up with lots of comments, so I've split the story up into 5 separate Google Docs to avoid that problem.

With that said, if you don’t like Google Docs, or get distracted with other people’s notes, I can send you the manuscript by itself via a separate Google Docs or PDF or another way (like a .doc file?). It’ll be completely up to you! I’m perfectly fine with whatever you’re most comfortable with.

 

DEADLINE

I’d love to have everyone’s notes back by January 7th, 2019. BUT, I absolutely understand people’s lives are crazy (especially this time of year). So if you can’t manage that, it’s perfectly okay. That’s more a loose deadline since I’ll probably be ready to do more work on the story by the new year. (How are we already talking about 2019???) But, again, if your life gets too hectic and you can’t make that deadline, it’s fine! Just me let me. ^_^

 

SIGN-UP SHEET

Alrighty. With all that out of the way, here’s the sign-up sheet! If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to send me an email (just click the little green envelope in the top right corner of the blog) or ask in the comments.

 

EDIT: Oh my gracious, guys. You blew. me. away. Within just a day I had over 20 people sign up!!! I guess I should have put a cap on how many I’d take. I just did not expect to get this kind of response. I LOVE YOU GUYS AND FEEL SO BLESS AND HONORED!!! I’m closing the form now since I’ve gotten so many people. I don’t want to completely overwhelm myself here. Haha. But if you were just dyyyying to beta-read or you had asked me to beta-read before and I totally forgot to add your name and/or contact you, shoot me an email! Otherwise, I’m not taking anymore on. But just, YOU GUYS. I can’t even begin to express my thanks. Your enthusiasm for my story makes it all worth it. I just…I can’t. LOVE YOU ALL! <333

Again, there is nooo pressure to be a beta-reader. I know it’s a huge commitment. But for any who did sign up just… THANK YOOOUUU!!!!!

It means the world to me that you’re interested in my story and want to help make it the best it can be. You guys are helping my dreams come true, and there aren’t enough words to properly express my thanks.

I will hopefully be contacting everyone who signed up within a week or two and sending out the manuscript!

 

Another huge thanks to all who signed up! Feel free to leave questions in the comments! Also, I know this wasn’t much of a blog post, more like shameless self promo. *sheepish grin* But I DO have something super fun in the works for next week, so stayed tuned!