Self-Love vs. God’s Love

“Believe in yourself.” | “Make yourself happy first.” | “Treat yoself.” | “Love yourself first. | “Be who you want to be.” | “You’re worth it.”

Do some of these look familiar? Maybe you’ve seen quotes like this on Pinterest in front of a pretty, inspiring background. They’re common things to see on posters and makeup commercials, scattered about on Twitter and Instagram, hear people say on Disney Channel, or just passed from one person to the next. They’re motivating, right? Make you feel good about yourself.

How about this one?

“Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.” –Matthew 16:24

WHOA. Wait a minute! That doesn’t sound right. Deny ourselves? That’s not what we’re meant to do! We’re supposed to love ourselves. That’s the most important thing. Self-love. Because if we don’t love ourselves, we’re incapable of loving anybody or anything, right?

Well, that’s certainly what today’s society is trying to teach us. But you know what I’ve discovered through the year? Selfishness leaves no room for others.

A lot of people may instantly recoil at this and claim “self-love” has nothing to do with selfishness. I realize that, I understand where people are coming from with it. (Which I’ll discuss more in a bit.) But the thing is: Humans are selfish beings. Why do you think these self-love quotes capture us? Because we’re selfish. We want to be told it’s okay to focus on ourselves.

“This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.” 2 Timothy 3:1-5

That looks awfully familiar to today’s society, doesn’t it?

Selfishness is rooted into human nature from the very beginning. Think about it, little children have to be taught how to share because it’s their natural instinct to claim everything for themselves. To have their way. We have to fight the urge of selfishness from the very second our brains are capable of understanding what that is. Aren’t we all still toddlers, desperately wanting our own way? It’s a fight, every single day. And when the whole world is telling you to “love yourself”, it makes that fight a whole, whole lot harder and, eventually, seem pointless, wrong even, to deny self.

But self-love can be so destructive. The selfishness of our society makes me sick. Sometimes I can’t even watch TV because you can physically see the self-centeredness on actors’ faces. And it’s not attractive, let me tell you.

You know what is attractive? What makes a person beautiful and truly shine? Humility. Selflessness. Love for others.

Have you ever had one of those conversations where the person ends up solely talking about themselves and doesn’t even seem to acknowledge you? Do you walk away thinking, “Wow, what a wonderful person. They’re so confident in themselves. How admirable.” Prooobably not. It’s usually pretty annoying, am I right?

Now what about those individuals who ask you questions about yourself and shows enthusiasm for your passions? Aren’t those the beautiful, admirable people in this world? The people we want to be like?

Self-love says we can’t truly love anyone until we love ourselves. But focusing on one’s self makes other people fall by the wayside.

I struggle with selfishness daily. It’s one of my worst problems. My vanity is a big, ugly thing I’m constantly trying to fight, and constantly finding it creeping back in, taking over everything. And if there’s anything I’ve learned from it, it’s that the more I focus on myself the less I see others.

Being a writer makes it harder. Because we’re supposed to promote ourselves. It’s literally our job to draw people to us and praise our work and gain as many followers as we possibly can.

This used to be very hard for me. Over the years of blogging and immersing in social media, it’s become easier, natural even. In fact, I rather like “promoting myself”. Maybe too much. Because, yes, it’s definitely my job to grow a platform, but God gave me this passion for writing to use it to glorify Him. And I fail at that daily. I get so caught up in gaining followers and trying to prove I’m a good writer, that God gets pushed behind me, me, me.

But when God gives you a gift, it should never be kept for yourself. We are supposed to take it and then pour it out for others. Show people God’s amazingness through us, show what He has done.

Now, I think a million and one people would get on me for saying these things. Because isn’t denying ourselves unhealthy? People hurt themselves and commit suicide every day because they hate themselves, feel unworthy and unloved. It’s heartbreaking. I love people. People is my jam. And it tears my heart in two when I see others hate on themselves.  So I absolutely get this self-love movement.

I’m a huge believer in confidence. I have spent almost my whole life working on being a confident person and few years back something clicked with it. Ever since, I have been much more satisfied. We should be confident in ourselves. But there is a fine line between confidence and selfishness. And our human nature does so love to slip into that selfish behavior more often than not.

It’s a tricky thing. Sheesh, I agree with some of those “self-love” quotes. And there is a time and place for self care and to focus on our own pursuits. We can pour ourselves out too much and need time to refuel. And we should leave plenty of room to pursue our own passion. Lately I’ve been realizing I spend so much time helping other writers, I haven’t really left any room to work on my own books. And thus I have had to learn to say no (which is hard because I love supporting all my dear writer friends!) and take time out each day to work on my personal projects. I’m not saying we should pour ourselves out until we’re dry to the bone and don’t ever get to chase our own dreams. Again, I get what we’re trying to do with this “self-love” movement, but I think we’re going about it in the completely opposite way we should be.

You know what brings true joy and happiness and satisfaction and love?

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” –Philippians 2:3-4

Value others above yourselves. Now that is quite the different tone from these motivating self-love quotes, isn’t it? Because that’s the thing with those quotes—there’s a pattern. Can you see it?

Every single one of them acknowledges YOU. Love yourself. Make yourself happy. You’re worth it.

But God’s Word tells us over and over again to deny ourselves, to die to self, to seek humility. The answer to happiness and love can never be found within ourselves. It’s through GOD. But there’s absolutely no room for Jesus if we’re filled up on “self”. But if we fill up on Jesus, we will never run dry. We will find that His goals for us are our dreams and passions, and can chase them all the farther because He is the one driving us, not ourselves.

I’m sick and tired of this world of focusing on self, self, self. It’s a sickness that grows larger and larger the more we feed it.

To truly shine, is to put “self-love” away and accept God’s Love.

He is all the beauty and love in this universe. And when He is within you, you will shine more brightly, live more confidently, find more joy, and love more deeply than any amount of inspirational self-love quotes can ever give you.

Self-love is a shallow love that will eventually lead to bitterness. God’s love is true love that will lead to fulfillment and satisfaction. If we honestly want the best for ourselves and to “treat ourselves”, we will stop glossing over our sins and instead hand them over to Jesus and accept His love for us.

“Believe in yourself” is the big slogan Disney is very fond of using. Well, I don’t know about you but I’d much rather believe in the all-knowing, all-powerful, all-loving Creator of the Universe than myself.

“And all these things shall be added unto you.”

 

TALK WITH ME!

Hope you guys didn’t mind the rant! I know this is a bit of a different post from normal, but it’s been on my mind for…a long time. And, as writers, I do think it’s extremely important we keep centered on Him and use our gifts for His glory. SO LET’S TALK! What are your thoughts on this issue? I know it’s a tricky one and I’d love to debate it with you all and bounce ideas off of each other!

The Life Pattern vs. God’s Pattern

2017 is HALFWAY OVER, GUYS. HALFWAY. *faints* And next thing you know, August is going to be here.

With August, for many, comes Big Life Decisions. Maybe May for you was a flurry of graduation excitement. Some finished high school, others college. While many of you are getting prepped to return to school.

I had multiple graduations to attend in May, and I know many people who are stepping out to do many new, exciting, and maybe even scary things. And others are trying to decide what they want to spend the rest of their life doing.

With this transition of summer quickly slipping toward August, for a lot of people, the doubts start coming in. The questions. The fears. What do you want to do with your life? Are you making the right life decisions? What if you make the Wrong Decision? What if you mess up? What if you change your mind? What will everyone think? Or maybe you’re not headed to a change. Maybe you’re already settled into a life, but unsure if it’s the right one. And those same doubts and fears creep in. Are you wasting your life? Should you make a change? What does everyone expect from you?

If this sounds familiar, I have some advice for you…

STOP.

Okay, okay. Obviously we all have to make decisions in life, and that’s GOOD (even if it doesn’t seem like it). It’s gotta be done. As lovely as it’d be, we can’t really spend our entire life watching Netflix. (Just some of it.) So what am I getting at here? Well, let me tell you a story…

From the moment I started kindergarten, I was homeschooled. I was a homeschooler throughout my entire schooling years. And then I *GASP* chose not to go to college. I went for years without ever having a job, and only now have a little part time one. I’m not married, never even have had a boyfriend before, and still live with my parents. In the world’s eyes, I’m a complete failure.

According to the world, this is the set Life Pattern: Go to school, directly go to college (taking a year or two break after graduating high school is just dumb and lazy. How dare you take a break after being at school for 12 years, and not immediately decide what you’re going to do for the rest of your life at the age of 18. Psssh.), find a fulltime job you must stick with forever, get married the second you graduate college, have only two kids and maybe one dog, raise your two children to be a doctor and lawyer respectively, move into a retirement home, die. The End.

Ooookay, maybe that’s a smidgeon dramatic. But, ya know, from my own experience sometimes it feels like that’s exactly what’s expected of everyone. And if you break away from the Life Pattern you’re a failure. You’re lazy and no good and what even are you doing with your life?

Obviously, I’m the biggest Failure of them all. Not only was I one of those Weird Homeschoolers, I didn’t go to college. I don’t have a fulltime job. I don’t even have a boyfriend. I’m 25! I should have a career by now. Or be married with 5 children. Sheesh, I’m practically old maid status. I should at least have my own apartment and not be living with my parents. Right? Right???

I’m gonna be honest with you guys. Sometimes I do believe these things. Sometimes (okay, a lot of the time…) I listen to the voices of doubt, let them make me think I’m a lazy, no good failure who’s wasting her life. Sometimes I wonder if I should be making changes. If I should have done things differently. And then God gets a hold of me and reminds me: I’m exactly where He wants me to be.

Because here’s the thing about the Life Pattern. It’s not GOD’S PATTERN.

God does not call us to follow the “social norm”. He does not have a set copycat lifestyle for every human on the planet. He has an amazing and unique plan for each and every one of us. And yes, sometimes His plans seem positively ridiculous.

I think everyone thought Noah was a total loon when he set out to build a ginormous boat in a place with no water. I have no doubt the people of Jericho shook their heads at the complete and utter insanity of Joshua when he marched his army around the Jericho walls every single day for a week.

God doesn’t take common sense into account. He often calls us to live in the most strange of ways. And you know what? It’s absolutely wonderful.

Oswald Chambers said it best:

“If a person is ever going to do anything worthwhile, there will be times when he must risk everything by his leap in the dark. In the spiritual realm, Jesus Christ demands that you risk everything you hold on to or believe through common sense, and leap by faith into what He says. Once you obey, you will immediately find that what He says is as solidly consistent as common sense.

By the test of common sense, Jesus Christ’s statements may seem mad, but when you test them by the trial of faith, your findings will fill your spirit with the awesome fact that they are the very words of God. Trust completely in God, and when He brings you to a new opportunity of adventure, offering it to you, see that you take it.

Living God’s way is so, so much better than conforming to what society expects of you.

Now, it’s not going to be easy. Like I said, I often let the voices of doubt into my head. And I have dealt with raised eyebrows and judgmental looks from people my entire life. I’m sure all my fellow homeschoolers are quite familiar with that raised eyebrow one receives when one must answer The Question: “Where do you go to school?” But I only thought that was bad. It only got worse when I graduated. Now the question is, “Where do you go to college?” or “What are you studying to be?” When I answer with, “I didn’t go to college,” I’ve feared some people were about to lose their eyebrows completely they went so far up their heads. I’ve literally had a couple of people just kind of stop talking to me and move on to one of the more “successful” people around me. Because apparently I’m just too uneducated and weird to bother having a conversation with.

Disclaimer: I’m going to pause here to quickly say, I am not against college. We need doctors and lawyers and a billion other things. College is important! I know I probably sound like I’m totally anti-college with all this ranting. I’m not! I’m just anti-you-must-go-to-college-or-you’re-a-complete-failure thing that seems to be the world’s viewpoint. I feel like these days people see it as a sin to not go to college! College is a choice, not a have-to. Yes, we need to go through school. Obviously. Gotta learn how to do math and read. But afterwards, it’s up to you what to do, and you shouldn’t be shamed by that. Isn’t the world all about freewill right now? So why are we still shaming each other for not going to college? (But I’ve got to stop, because this post isn’t about college, despite appearances. Ahem.)

Every person has a reason why they do or do not do something.

I suffer with health problems. Mentally, I’d love to go out and do things and see people every single day. I’d probably love having a fulltime career, and maybe even really enjoy college. But physically, I can’t always be out and about every single day of my life. I have to live a pretty quiet life because of health problems. I actually was planning on going to college, the idea excited me, but God very clearly led me not to. And now I understand why. Health-wise, I just couldn’t handle it. And what I want to do with my life has no need for college. I want to be a fulltime writer. And yes, a lot of people take classes for that, which is fantastic (and wonderful for query letters, I believe), but for writing, you can also totally educate yourself. I’ve been “colleging” myself ever since I finished high school. Because it was then that I really got serious about writing and studying the craft and taking the time to do it. And having the time to do it. If I was in college, I’d probably be too busy and tired to even bother with writing. I only have so much energy. I tire easily, I get really bad headaches, and writing is a lot of work. If I had classes all the time or a full job to go to every single day, I’d probably have to give up the very thing God gave me a passion for. For me personally, I can pursue my career better by having just a part-time job and not going to college.

Since I can’t be physically active all the time, but love people, I took up blogging and have the most spectacular circle of people in the world. Blogging and writing and socializing with my many blogging/writing/reading peeps brings me indescribable joy every single day.

Homeschooling was a huge blessing with my health problems as well. Not to mention just amazing! I made my very bestest friends via my homeschool group. (Because yes, we do actually *gasp* socialize.)

I still live at home because this is where I’m supposed to be right now. And where I want to be. I love my family. We’re all a support system for each other. Why would I leave the place I’m supposed to be because it’s “shameful” for a 25 year old to still be living with their parents?

In the world’s eyes, I do nothing but use most of my time sitting around on the computer. But being a writer is a fulltime job. (Which is a whole topic of its own and one I hope to write a post on very soon, so I won’t go into that…yet. *grins*) Like I said, I’m colleging myself (and, yes, we’re totally pretending “colleging” is a word, shhh). I am working toward a career.

Each person is different. We can’t follow a certain Life Pattern. And why would we even want to?

Go to college, don’t go to college. Get married young, get married later in life. Don’t get married at all. Have one kid, have twelve. Have a career, stay at home. Go out and be a missionary in a foreign country or reach people via a blog.

God has a specific and wonderful and amazing and adventurous and totally spectacular plan for YOU.

As you make those dreaded Life Decisions, shut out the world’s judgmental eyebrow raising and expectations of following a Pattern. Don’t make a permanent decision that you don’t even want to do just because the world pressured you into it. Seek out God’s expectations, His plans for you. However crazy they may seem.

Because it’s much better to hear God say “Well done, my good and faithful servant” and receive all the raised eyebrows in the world, than bending to the world’s expectations and having our Savior disappointed in us.

 

Whew! Okay, I know that was long and ranty. Buuut, this post was bound to show up eventually. It’s a rant my patient family has to hear at least weekly. I knew it’d appear on the blog sooner or later. (Really, I’ve kind of wanted to write this post since I started blogging… I don’t know why it took me so long.) But now I want to hear your thoughts! (Goodness knows you’ve had enough of mine.) Do you relate to this? Do we share any of the same struggles? Are you at a point where you’re making those Big Life Decisions? Or perhaps questioning your decisions because of the world’s judgy eyes? I would love to talk with you or pray for you if you need it. So share away in the comments!

A Time of Peace

Well, will you look at that, Christmas is just a week away. If you’re like me, it feels like 2016 just started. And yet, here we are at the end of it, about to celebrate Christmas. How did that happen???

Despite the year breaking speed limits, it was, in fact, 365 days (wait, this was a leap year, so 366?). And, well, a lot can happen in 366 days. A lot of heartbreak, a lot of joy, a lot of change. Each year brings something new—good and bad. And, let’s face it, life can be stressful.

That’s why I love how Christmas is at the end of the year. It’s like a calming breath after a heavy workout. The year is nearly done, Christmas break is here, and now it’s time to get with family and friends. To put on that long awaited Christmas music. To reminisce over Christmas ornaments while decorating the tree. To consume far too many hot, sugary drinks and cookies.

It’s a time of joy. And it’s a time of peace.

Yes, with Christmas comes a whole other load of stress. But should it be? Does it have to?

“Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

Is this not the time to celebrate the One Who came and gave it all for us, instead of stressing over getting each other material possessions?

To refuel and remember His ultimate gift?

In September I had something tragic happen to a family dear to me. In October I gave myself a headache trying to plot More Gold than Sunlight, in November I completely ignored life and spent every waking hour writing MGtS, and then December came and I had to catch up on everything I ignored during November and do all the Christmas prepping. To put it simply: I’m tired.

But you know what?

IT’S CHRISTMAS.

So for the remainder of December, I want to relax. And I want to soak in every moment. Yes, there are still many things to do—a whole list of tasks. But that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy each moment. That doesn’t mean I can’t revel in the very reason this season exists.

“And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.

The Prince of Peace came for you. For me.

This year wasn’t this easiest. And maybe it wasn’t for you either. Maybe you’re feeling tired and stressed and downhearted. Maybe this year took a lot out of you.

Me too.

2017 is nearing. And with it comes new challenges and possibilities. But right now, it’s Christmas time. Right now, it’s time to release the burdens of 2016.

Right now, it’s time to take a breath.

I’m planning on refueling, enjoying this blessed season so I shall be prepared for the next. And I’d love it if you’d join me. Because it’s Christmas. It’s the time of peace and joy, because HE is peace and joy.

“Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

Let’s make these last two weeks ones of rejuvenation. I think we could all use it. I know I sure could.

I do so hope you all have a blessed Christmas!

Thank You

He took all the pain. All the agony. The stripes, the nails, the suffering. He took all the blackness of the world. Him so pure, so beautiful, untainted. Perfect. But He took on every bit of it anyway.

But I don’t deserve it, I whisper.
“I love you,” He says.
But I deserve death.
“I love you.”
But I mess up so much.
“I love you.”
But. . .but. . .but. . .
“I love you. Forever. Unconditionally. I love you, My child.”

He calls me child, when I should be nothing but a slave to the darkness. He calls me beloved, when I’m so filthy.

When I was born so tainted. Too ugly to even look upon His goodness. He loved me. He wanted me.

“I’ll take these stripes, the pain, this suffering, for you. For you. For you.”
But. . .
“Because I love you.”

He gave His beautiful, beautiful blood and washed it over me. Me. The unworthy urchin. With His blood and tears and love, He wiped away the darkness, cleansed the layer upon layer upon layer of filth. And then, oh, and then the unthinkable happened. He took my hand. The hand of the once hideous beast deserving only of death. He took my hand. He looked at me.

“I am yours. And you are Mine.”

My own wickedness which once kept me so far from Him was gone. And now He looked at me, He held me, He claimed me. He loved me.

He could have left. He could have turned His back. He could have been done with my mistakes I make again and again and again. How could He even tolerate such a being?

Instead He gladly took the stripes. The stripes I put there myself. Over and over. With my petty mistakes and selfishness. But He took them. He took it all onto Himself, stripped me from the darkness, spilled His blood over me so I could be clean. The shackles fell from my wrists, and He promised me freedom forever and ever.

Then He came back. He did not abandon me. When He could have. When I deserved it. But He returned and held my new body. My new body, cleansed by His blood.

“It is finished,” He said. “You are Mine.”
Because You love me, I say with tears in my eyes as I look upon the print of nails in his hands.
”Because I love you.”

Thank you, Jesus. I am so, so undeserving. I make so mistakes, every single day. But you did it anyway. You suffered and died and returned. You are mine. I am Yours.

Because You love me.

Though Easter may has passed this year, what He did is eternal.

Thank you, Jesus.

Merely Passing Through

Saturday I returned from a trip out of town where I spent an entire week with my best friend and her family. Getting to spend every single day with your best friend is a dream, especially for this extrovert. We stopped by multiple bookstores (she’s as wild about books as I am), frequented a particular coffee shop, jammed out to a variety of music during the car rides, had long conversations both deep and ridiculous, ate way too much pizza (just kidding, “too much pizza” is an impossibility), and in general enjoyed life away from life.

But now the week is over. She’s returned to college classes today and I’m back home trying to adjust to the norm, and we both have to accept the fact that we probably won’t see each other again until the summer (living miles away from your best friend is the worst). Regular ol’ life has returned and it’s a bit hard to swallow.

I’m feeling rather scattered; I can’t seem to get my mind to focus on anything. I have about a million and one things I need to catch up on and get done, but all I seem to want to do is disappear in an exciting book or just sit on the porch and stare into space. My mind is refusing to settle back into normality.

I think even the quietest of us longs for adventure. Every day life can sometimes be hard to accept. The drudgery. The sameness. We read books and watch television and wish we could go off to other worlds and have exciting adventures with our best friends. After all, fiction is an escapism. And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. As J.R.R. Tolkien says. . .

“Fantasy is escapist, and that is its
glory. If a soldier is imprisoned by the enemy, don’t we consider it
his duty to escape? If we value the freedom
of mind and soul, if we’re partisans of liberty, then it’s our plain duty
to escape, and to take as many people with us as we can!”

God loves to create, He created everything. And I think we were given that same love and desire. To create. To make new things. To ask “what if?” As long as we are using our abilities to glorify Him, I believe He encourages us to use our creativity to its fullest potential. Sometimes we need distractions from the drudgery of life. But, eventually, we do have to return to normal life.

For so long I never understood why I was dissatisfied with the life I’ve been given. Was I ungrateful to God? Was I just bratty and hard to please? Then, only a couple years ago, I found a quote by C.S. Lewis that made it all clear.

“The fact that our heart yearns
for something Earth can't supply is proof
that Heaven must be our home.”

There it was, and has been all along. We aren’t supposed to be satisfied with this life.

That yearning in our heart we feel every day, it’s a yearning for something far bigger and greater than our earthly minds can even imagine.

We yearn for Heaven, to spend eternity with the very One Who created us.

After all, we’re not to be a part of this world, to be so consumed in it that we forget our Lord and Savior.

But this is the tricky part. Where do we balance being content and peaceful wherever God puts us, while also still yearning for Heaven? That’s where the journey comes in.

You know all those books and TV shows we watch that we wish we could be a part of? Guess what. We’re already there. We’re Frodo and Sam taking the Ring to Mordor. We’re Alice falling through the rabbit hole. This life that we live every single day is the journey.

As exciting as these stories are to read, they’re not always so fun for the characters. Every day Frodo and Sam yearned to return home. Their journey wasn’t exactly fun and games. It was downright hard. But did they regret it? Of course not. Because as hard and impossible as it seemed, they saved all of Middle Earth, and in the end they returned home. Had they given up, not taken the journey, Middle Earth would have been overrun by evil.

This world we live in, its dark and sad and sometimes just hard. But this is our journey. The drudgery, the heartache. Every day. This is what we’re meant to do. Sometimes it’s a scary plummet into the unknown like poor Alice. Sometimes its just a seemingly endless, dull walk like much of Frodo and Sam’s journey. There are joys and pain and excitement and the same ol’, same ol’. But it’s our journey.

God put us here for a purpose. We are His warriors. And if we put one foot in front of the other, eventually we’ll find our purposes fulfilled and that we’ve made it Home.

And that, I think, is how we find contentment in this life and longing for the next. The heroes in our beloved stories press on to make the world a better place. To make it home knowing they’ve done what they were meant to do.

It’s not easy. But it’s worth it to one day hear those word.

“Well done, My good and faithful servant.”

I want to be His warrior. To press on through the drudgery. To live through the adventure He has given me and to be grateful and content with the big and small things of life. But to always keep my eyes on Home.

Dear You

You are beautiful.

Sometimes the world will say otherwise. Sometimes labels will be slapped on you and weigh you down. Sometimes those lies will seem an awful lot like truths. Sometimes you’ll wonder what is the point in your existence.

Do you know why you exist?

Because God loves you.

Just as the world is screaming you’re worthless, He’s whispering gently in your ear, “You were worth it.”

Don’t ever apologize for your existence. I know people like that, that seem as if they’re ashamed of even breathing. That they’re just here to get in the way. And they’re the most beautiful, sweetest people I know. I wouldn’t be able to survive without them.

You make an impact on the world. You’re here for a reason.

God CREATED you. Created you TO BE LOVED.

No, we don’t supposed to be caught up in vanity and selfishness. But when we hate on ourselves, we’re hating on God’s beautiful creations. Through Him are we beautiful. Through Him we can rejoice in being put on this earth. Because HE chose to put us here. He has a purpose for every single one of us.

You may think you’re not worth anything. That you’re talentless, a waste of space, ugly, useless. But He gave you a purpose and all the means of fulfilling that purpose.

“I will praise Thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made:
marvellous are Thy works; and that my soul
knoweth right well.”  Psalm 139:14

You are not talentless. You are not ugly. You are not worthless.

You are equipped with everything you need to serve Him. You are wonderfully made. You are a Child of God.

Don’t let the lies of the world darken your light. Don’t let others define you. When we so focus on what the world sees in us, we smother the real us. We become artificial, fakes. The real us gets stuffed down and hidden away in shame.

But God made YOU. And He wants you to have the glorious freedom to be yourself through Him without the cares of the world. The only one that should ever be allowed to put a label on you is Him. And do you know what His label for you is?

“You are Mine.”

Shine brightly. Be you. Be the wonderful you He made you to be.

Because you are beautiful.

Focus

The old canvas—filled with messy scratches and beautiful scenes and a chaos of life painted across its surface—has been tucked away and a brand new one sets out before us. White and pristine, ready for new colors of life.

We’ve said goodbye to 2015 and 2016 is here and ahead of us. Waiting. For the laughter. For the scars. New hopes and fears in the horizon. Endless possibilities.

I’ve yet to write down any goals, to think far in the future. The realization that it’s a new year hasn’t quite sunk in yet. Christmas decorations are only just now being tucked away until next time, and as I see the tree being stripped of ornaments and lights, I know it’s time. Not to say goodbye, but to look ahead. To say hello. New adventures. New memories to be made.

2016 awaits.

I haven’t decided what my goals for the year are, or if I’ll even make any this year. But I do want to make a change. What kind of change? That’s the very question that has been on my heart for the past few days. I want to be better. To grow in God, strive for the person He wants me to become.

But how?

In 2014 I discovered the trend of choosing a word for the year to live by. I loved this idea. Almost immediately afterward God placed COURAGEOUS on my heart.

A few words were my direction for 2015, and though I failed many, many times, keeping these words always on mind really helped me grow.

This year I didn’t know if I was going to choose a word. I really didn’t know what to improve on. There are so, so, so many things in my life that need improvement. I’ve messed up time and time again.

For a while, I’ve felt a little lost. Like something is missing in my life. I’ve spent far too much on self. Worrying if I’m wasting my life, wandering around with no direction in sight. Always looking to me for answers.

Only a couple of nights ago I was praying and there it was. My word. My goal. The very piece of the puzzle I let slip from my grasp and lost somewhere along the way.

Focus.

All my focus has been centered on Christine, when instead it should forever be turned to GOD. Somewhere in the midst of 2015, I let the busyness and multiple projects and in general life tug me away from the very thing I should have been getting closer to.

I lost my focus on God.

I’ve slacked on my time with Him, I’ve forgotten with so many aspects of my life to put Him in the center, to ask Him where to go.

This is what God wants for me this year. Simply to focus on Him.

“But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” Matthew 6:33

Oswald Chambers so often says in My Utmost for His Highest to keep centered on Christ and everything else will fall into place. That’s our very purpose after all, is it not? To keep focused on Jesus. We can’t improve ourselves, only He can.

“I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” Philippians 4:13

It all comes from Him. If we want to improve any aspect in our life, the first step is to simply keep our focus on Jesus.

So that is my goal for 2016. For my LIFE. To focus on my Savoir. Every day. Every hour. Every minute. Him and Him alone.

As God as my focus, I hope this will pour into other parts of my life. I’m tired of being so centered on Christine that others get left behind. I want to focus on OTHERS. To love and encourage and be there whenever anyone needs me. To draw from my Savior and pour out His love to everyone I meet.

“Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.” Matthew 5:16

I’m a wanderer. I let my mind wander. I let my goals wander. I let my hopes and dreams wander. I talk an awful lot about things I want to do, but they very rarely actually get done.

This year I want to stay focused. Less wandering, more doing. I know I will fail, over and over again. That everything will get out of focus once more and I’ll have to readjust the lens. But we have a merciful God. One that will pick us up and brush off the dust and point us back toward the destination.

I don’t have to be lost, everything around me confusing and blurred. Because GOD is my destination. With my eyes forever focused on Him, everything else becomes clear.

What about you, dear reader? Tell me some of your goals for this year. And a happy 2016 to you all! I hope it’s the best one yet. <3

These December Days

One morning just a week ago I opened my eyes and realized: It’s December. December. Where the world seems a little cheerier, the days a little cozier, and life a little brighter.

These are the days frost covers the ground in the early morning and the sky is soft in the afternoon. Where boots and scarves and gloves are donned for outings of Christmas shopping to find that perfect gift to make a certain someone smile. To bundle up in the car with the family and gaze at the colorful lights illuminating neighborhood homes.

Where the Christmas music is pulled out and played with gusto throughout the house, in the car, within the stores—filling the world with tunes of celebration for this wondrous time. Those favorite Christmas movies make their appearance and are watched for the hundredth time, but are still as thrilling as the first.

Boxes are brought down from the attic and their contents transform the house with Christmas trees and ornaments, garland, lights, festive knick-knacks galore—all decked out to celebrate. Mugs with happy Christmas scenes are dug from the back of the cabinet to be filled with warm, sweet smelling drinks, adding to the sugary aromas of the cookies in the oven.

Cuttings of Christmas paper litters the room of gifts being wrapped, a smile on the wrapper’s face as they think of their loved one opening the special present.

There are parties to go to, and family to meet, and yet more shopping to do. But that’s okay. Because it’s Christmas time. The merriest time of the year.

But what makes these days so special? What brings on such merriment? Sure, the decorating and gifts and festive music are fun. But what about that little thrill inside you? That warm joy that can’t even be described? What causes this certain feeling only December brings?

“For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour,
which is Christ the Lord.”

Ah, there it is. Life. It’s not the lights and tinsel and pretty wrapped gifts that spur on the deep rooted joy within. It’s Life. Our Saviour’s life, given so WE may have life. Joy to the world.

I think December is the best time of year because it’s a reminder of our Lord, Who chose to come down as a humble babe and sacrifice for us. So that we may live. Now that is something to celebrate.

These December days are the best days. So let’s fill them with the beauty of life, just as Jesus filled us with life. With love, cheer, and joy.

Happy December!

Who Am I?

Do you ever have those days where you feel like nothing? Just. . .here, and that’s about it. I sure do. More often than not I examine myself and think, “What’s the point in me? In Christine?” I’m just here, not really making the world worse (hopefully), but not really making it better either. Just here using up empty space for no reason.

It’s a hard thing wondering why you’re here, what your purpose is, what you’re supposed to be doing with your life.

These are our years that we supposed to be figuring these things out, right? While we’re in our teens and twenties. These are the years that we make decisions to setup our life to the end of our days. No pressure or anything. But it’s hard. It’s hard looking in the mirror and asking the question, “Who am I?” And sometimes that face staring back at you will answer. “Nobody. You’re worthless.”

But there’s Someone else Who has the voice of truth.

“Who am I?” you ask.

“You’re mine,” He answers.

Not a single person on this entire Earth, not you, not me, not anyone, is worthless. Maybe things aren’t going right, maybe you’re in a waiting period, maybe all these life decisions are crowding around you and confusing and suffocating, but you do have a purpose. And you know what that is?

Being loved.

That’s it. That’s why you’re here. Not only being loved, but being loved by a perfect, sovereign Creator Who wants the very best for you. Wow. That doesn’t sound like a worthless nobody to me.

Life is hard, no one can deny that, and sometimes it’s even harder to find your place in this chaotic place called life. But you know what? You already have a place, because Jesus died for you and calls you His. And not only has He created each of us with a purpose in this world, He’s also made a place for all His children in Heaven.

“In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so,
I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.”
John 14:2

So who are we? God’s children. And what is our purpose in this life? He tells us exactly—

“But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness;
and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow:
for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself.”
Matthew 6:33-34

We’re here to love Him, total abandon. As long as we keep our eyes on Him, He’ll take care of tomorrow’s problems and show us exactly who we are.

We are loved.
We are His.

The Greatest of These

Not too long ago I was doing my Bible reading and going through the book of Romans when a particular passage jumped out and halted my progress.

“Love worketh no ill to his neighbour:
therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.”
Romans 13:10 (KJV)

I’ve passed by this verse many times over, seen it numerous times. It’s a rather popular verse after all, obviously not a new concept, but on this day it grabbed hold of me and wouldn’t let go.

In chapter 22 of Matthew, Jesus said the greatest commandment was to “love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and all thy soul, and all thy mind.” He then goes on to say that the second most important commandment follows the first: “Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.”

But why love? Why not doing good deeds? Serving selflessly? Or maybe worship? There are hundreds of other important things. What makes love triumph over everything else?

When I saw that passage in Romans, it hit me. “Love is the fulfilling of the law.”

Love LEADS to everything else.

What compels us to good deeds? Love. What causes us to serve others? Love. We choose to worship and serve and live our lives for our God because we LOVE Him. If not for love, what would drive us to live for anyone but ourselves? I think that’s what Jesus was saying when He told us to love our neighbors as ourselves. Because, really, if we had our will our lives would be centered totally and completely on US. It’s such an easy trap to serve self. To ignore life and responsibilities in exchange for an entire day on the couch marathoning your favorite TV show. (*guilty*) But we are not meant to live our lives selfishly, to spend day after day thinking about me, me, me. “Love thy neighbour.” If we put as much effort into serving others as we do ourselves, what a beautiful world that would be. “Love worketh no ill to his neighbour.” When we love someone, really truly love them, we never want to cause them harm. We desire to lift them up, to help them, make them smile.

What if we spent day after day loving our God with all our heart, soul, and mind? To put our all in all in Him? If we pour our hearts into loving our Lord and Savior then all those other things will fall into place. Love guides us to our God, drives us to live selflessly, to serve others, to worship Him.

Love is the greatest commandment because it leads us to obey all other commandment. Without love we’d be nothing but empty, selfish, meaningless shells.

After all, it was love that put Jesus on the Cross and paved the way into His waiting, open arms. All we have to do is LOVE.

And now abide faith, hope, love, these three;
but the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13:13 (NKJV)

Stained With Blood So Divine

Jesus died on the Cross for us.

The most powerful sentence in the world, and yet we toss it around without a thought. I know I do. It’s something I’ve heard my entire life. Jesus died on the Cross for my sins. Of course I know that. But there’s a big difference in knowing something over feeling something.

I’ve always loved Easter. My family is made up of mostly adults and yet we still gather around the kitchen table or on the back deck and dye eggs. I mean, come on. Dying eggs is a blast, I don’t care how old you are. I love the fresh, bright colors associated with the holiday and all the adorable plush rabbits lining the shelves in stores. It’s a fun, happy time to celebrate. But, oh, beyond the pretty colors and stuffed bunnies, what a thing we have to celebrate!

JESUS DIED ON THE CROSS.

That sentence. That sentence we hear our preachers mention on Sunday mornings, the one we throw around in our own every day conversations, the one we remind ourselves from time to time when convenient. Do we ever sit down and really, deeply and honestly, THINK about it. Do we feel it?

Think about this day we casually call “Good Friday”. The Creator of the Universe’s Son went out and faced something we can’t even imagine. Jesus, God’s Son, willingly let them put nails in His palms, which held him up on a scratchy piece of wood. His blood—real, warm, sticky red blood—poured from His hands, from His feet. The pain excruciating. But that pain was nothing to what He faced next. Every single sin billions upon billions upon billions of people committed came to Him, our perfect, spotless Savior. He took our sins and cleaned them all away with His blood, through a sacrifice of His own life.

Wow.

Jesus died on the Cross for us.

Whenever I say or hear or read that sentence I want to remember. I want to not just know it with my head, I want to FEEL it, to realize the history, the power, behind those words. The ultimate sacrifice our Jesus made for us.

But the story doesn’t end there. There is no “The End” to this tale. Because on Easter Sunday we are not celebrating a death, we are celebrating a life. Jesus returned to us, and we may be with Him for eternity. Life everlasting. His sacrifice tore down the wall of sin between us and our God, so we may live, not a “happily ever after” but a “joy eternal”.

“For He hath made Him to be sin for us, Who knew no sin;
that we might be made the righteousness of God in Him.”
2 Corinthians 5:21

For us. Jesus died on the Cross for us. For you. For me.

Easter may be full of egg dying and goodies in Easter baskets, but the most beautiful story in the world is the real meaning of this holiday. The story about the LIFE we have been given through the LOVE of our Savior.

Because Jesus Christ died on the Cross, and rose again!

A Life Worth Celebrating

It’s so easy to forget what this time of year means. I’ve struggled with it a lot this year. Our house has been a bit hectic lately in Christmas preparations. Amidst all the busyness and excitement, I’ve lost track of why we do this every year. Why we spend so much time buying gifts and decorating and cooking and meeting with family. But then it hit me.

It’s a celebration.

We put in a lot of preparation to celebrate the birth of a friend or family member, right? We want to celebrate the day they were born and spend that time in fun and laughter. Because we love them. And we want to show them our love.

Christmas is the celebration for the most Glorious Life of all. Our greatest loved one.

Jesus Christ came down on this Earth, humbled Himself as a baby, all to die. Die for us. His perfect life for our sinful ones.

We celebrate Him because we love Him. He loves us. Unconditionally, always.

So this year, as I enjoy the festive decorations adorning our house, share gifts with friends and family, partake in scrumptious ham and delectable desserts, bounce around to fun holiday music, I want to remember why. To remember that it’s all in celebration for HIM. The One who saved me. The One who humbled Himself so I might live. The One whose life is worth celebrating everyday.

Happy Birthday, Jesus!

And a Merry Christmas to all of you. I hope each and every one of you have a memorable, blessed Christmas in celebration of our Lord Jesus Christ!

It’s the Little Things

I’m thankful for. . .

Stranger’s smiles.

Polka dotted umbrellas.

The tapping of leaves falling on the rooftop.

Penguin socks.

The sound of a book’s pages turning.

Babies’ smiles.

Pink cell phone cases.

Those in between moments of sleep where you’re dreaming but half awake.

The smell of overturned earth just after a rain.

NaNoWriMo

The smooth feeling of ivory under your fingertips when playing the piano.

When you find a song so beautiful it clutches your soul and brings tears to your eyes.

Open windows.

The reflection of fall leaves on water.

Goofy selfies with my sister in the car.

Bare footprints in the ground.

The delighted chaotic sounds of children playing.

Nonsensical late night conversations.

Freshly washed sheets.

Buying a new book.

The faint rumbling of distant thunder.

The imprint of pencil on fingers after drawing.

The pink and purple and orange glow of sunsets.

Sometimes it’s the smallest thing that can bring out the greatest joy—the sound of a loved one’s footsteps coming up the stairs, a child’s dimpled smile, a gentle breeze blowing through the window. God has created a beautiful world full of millions and millions of things to be grateful for. And I don’t want to miss them.

Struggles often blind my view of the beauty around me. I focus so much on dark things I forget that God’s light shines in every moment of every day. We just have to be willing to look for it and always keep our eyes on Him.

I never want to take for granted the tiny gifts in life God has blessed us with. I want to remember that no matter how dark life may seem, there’s ALWAYS something to be THANKFUL for.

(Click the link for my original "It's the Little Things" post.)

Joy, Love, and Giveaways

It happens from the very beginning. We gather our dolls and stuffed animals, dressing them all up for the big "wedding" of Mr. and (soon to be) Mrs. Bear. We borrow Mother's dresses and have a make-believe ceremony under the tree in the backyard. As we get older we get even more serious about it. We hear a song that would be perfect for the big day. We make pinterest boards to plan out our entire wedding. (Yes, I have one of those.) We wonder how many kids we'll have and already start naming them, middle names included. (I already have some of those too.) From the time we even know what marriage really is, we begin dreaming about our own, yearning for it, even sometimes obsessing over the idea. . .

God has really been teaching me to spend these precious single years glorifying His Kingdom, not sitting around waiting for “the one”. Sweet Kiri over at Lianne Taimenlore allowed me to share how I’m learning to be Joyful Now, Not "One Day" on her blog today as part of her Dear Love party.

The party is still going on all the way to Friday. There have already been many absolutely beautiful and uplifting posts by just as beautiful, godly young ladies, and more to come, so please head on over there and join in on the fun!

And don’t forget about the giveaway!!! A beautiful infinity love necklace and a “How Deep the Father's Love” art print are being given away. These things are GORGEOUS. The winners will be announced on the 14th, so hurry on over and get yourself ENTERED!

Hope you all truly do have a beautiful Valentine’s Day!

“For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8: 38-39

Courageous

Ever since the New Year hit, I’ve been seeing all over the place people choosing a single word to live by for the entirety of the year. I don’t know how I’ve missed this until now. When I saw it, I fell in love with the idea.

I think we could all use a word to grow in. A word to draw us closer to our Savior. A word to shape us into better people, to make us more like Him. Something to use as the foundation of our year, to expand on.

I knew I wanted a word.

I was reading a blog post on it on New Year’s day and made this decision. Just a few hours later, I was saying my prayers for the night and not even thinking about this new idea. While praying for a friend to have strength and courage, my words halted.

COURAGE

The word flashed in my mind’s eyes like a neon sign. It stuck to my brain and would not let loose. I could not think of anything else. Courage. . .courage. . .courage. . . That single word ran through my head over and over again. That’s when I knew.

God gave me a word.

In His amazing love, He showed me immediately, without me even asking, the word He wants me to live by for 2014.

He wants me to Be Courageous.

Sometimes I’m not courageous at all. Most of the time, in fact. I’ll get in my little comfort zone and not have the courage to venture out, to explore His mighty plans for me. I fall into this far, far too often, these past couple of years especially. I like being comfortable, living in my happy, quiet little world. But there is so much more out there. It takes great courage to be a child of Christ. We cannot live for Him if we’re unwilling to step out into the world bravely.

The word excited me. I do like to be comfortable, but deep down there’s an adventurous side to me that longs for moments to reach for my courage. It’s also a bit terrifying. What’s going to come upon me this year that will take courage to face?

But the wonderful thing about courage is that it’s not something I draw from myself, but HIM. THE LORD is my courage. And no matter what comes my way, He will always be there to lean on, to draw strength from, to give me COURAGE.

I’m extremely excited about 2014. I have a feeling God has great plans for me. New, wonderful things. And through them I want to be COURAGEOUS.

“Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord.”
Psalm 31:24

Better than Cookies

I love Christmas! The time together, the cheer, the music, the gifts, the cookies. . .and cookies. . .and also the cookies (what’s better than a holiday that allows you to fill yourself with cookies all season? I mean, really!).

But you know what’s the very best thing about this day? The reminder that our Savior came down on this earth as a humble baby to die for us so that we can be with Him for eternity. I’d say that’s a lot better than cookies!

Happy Birthday, Jesus!

And a very Merry and Blessed Christmas to all of you!

When Life Makes You Say… [Guest Post]

Today I have the honor of my own beautiful mother guest posting.

Over at her blog, Sweet Tea & Simplicity, she always has such encouraging things to say. I just couldn’t help but get her to share a post here on Musings of an Elf! So, without further ado:

When Life Makes You Say…

“But I just don’t know what on earth to do in this situation!”  God is your Counselor. (Ps. 119:24; Is. 48:17)

“But I am afraid!”  God is your Protector. (Joshua 1:9; Ps. 91:1; John 14:27)

“But I’m so lonely!” God is your Unfailing Friend; your All-time Companion that has your back 24/7. (Deut. 31:6; Is. 49: 15-16)

“But I feel so weary and weak.”  God is your Strength, and His Power is more evident in times of weakness. (Is. 40:31; 2 Cor. 12:9-10)

“But my life is overwhelming.”  He is your Firm Foundation.  Allow Him to keep you steady, by walking closely to Him. (Ps. 40:2; Ps. 46:1; Rom. 8:37)

“But my life is full of chaos and confusion.”  The Holy Spirit’s continuous presence is with you to guide you. (Is. 54:10; Ps. 32:8; Prov. 3:5-6)

“But my world is upside down and I feel uneasy and fearful of the present and future!”  God is your Hope. (Deut. 31:6; Ps. 31:24; Ps. 43:5)

“But I need…” God is your Provider. (2 Cor. 9:8; Phil. 4:19)

“But I’m just not content with the way my life is.”  Contentment and joy come from our relationship with Jesus, not our circumstances. (Is. 26:3-4; Ps. 107:9; Phil. 4:11-12) 

“But I am physically sick, and emotionally drained.”  God is your Great Physician, your Healer, and although we may not always understand His ways, we can trust Him, because He always has our best interest at heart. (2 Cor. 12:9; Ps. 103:3)

“But I feel so sad and rejected.”  Rest in His arms.  He is your Comforter.  He will never reject you. He will never leave you. He will never forsake you. (2 Corinthians 1:3-4; Gal 6:17)

“But I feel shattered and broken hearted.”  Allow the Lord to use this, my friend.  He will heal your broken heart. (Ps. 34:17; Ps. 147:3; Is. 61:3)

“But my life seems hopeless!”  Hopelessness, to a person that is saved by grace, may be a matter of not understanding.  Peril can cloud our thinking.  If we only knew what He has in store for us, though! Look beyond the raging storms in your life and allow God to enlighten you.  He will provide you with much reason to hope and rejoice! (Eph. 1:18-20; Jer. 29:11)  

“But I feel so unloved.”  Jesus loves you so much that He died for you so that He can be with you forever. (Rom. 8:38-39; John 15:9; Eph. 3:17-19) 

“But I am facing a terrible battle!”  God is your Victorious Warrior and He is committed to winning the battle for you if you will follow Him. (Deut. 33:27; Ps. 34:7; 2 Thess. 3:3)

“But I’ve messed up.”  God is full of forgiveness, and mercy, and grace if you have trusted Jesus as your Savior. (Ps. 86:5; Rom. 10:9) (If you would like to know more about trusting Jesus as your Savior, click here.)

“But you don’t know how terrible my circumstances are!”  That is true, but God does.  He will be with you.  Seek Him wholeheartedly. (Jer. 29:13) Allow Him to guide and instruct you.  Don’t focus on your troubles, my friend, focus on Jesus.  Be consumed by His call; trust and understand that “all things work together for good.” (Rom. 8:28)  When you do that, life will take on a new significance and meaning, and you will discover and experience joy, regardless of the challenges that you face. (Ps.32:8; 1 Peter 4:12-13; Phil. 1:6)

Graphic via Little Birdie Blessings

Forever Free

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!!!

Image via Little Birdie Blessings

Today, thinking about the blessing of freedom, reminds me of that beautiful freedom we have in Christ.

Jesus died on the cross to unlock the chains of sin around us. He set us FREE. If we have accepted Him as our Savior, never again do we have to be weighed down by the burden of sin.

“Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.” Galatians 5:1

No matter where we are or where life leads us, we will FOREVER have that freedom Christ has given us.

Today I want to celebrate ALL the blessed freedom I have been so mercifully given.

I pray you all have a spectacular 4th!

Blessings!