Monday, September 10, 2018

For the Love of Writing



A strange thing happens when you get older. The things you love to do suddenly become chores. This is a weird occurrence I’ve noticed within myself, as the years have gone on, and it’s getting worse and worse.


I love to write. That’s nooot exactly a secret. *grins* Fewer things make me happier than coming up with new stories, meeting new characters as they appear in my head and introduce themselves (because, really, that’s how it always goes, it’s so rare I “create” a character, they’re just…there, ready to take over my life and drive me crazy), creating new worlds to explore, thinking up fun concepts and crazy adventures to throw my characters in. That moment when I come up with that just right first sentence (after wailing about it for an hour) brings satisfaction like no other. Those times the words flow and I disappear into the story and forget I’m even writing are like no other. It is magical.


But at the same time? Writing is HARD.


You’ll see a thousand memes of it online, about how writing is 10% writing, 90% crying. See all the twitter posts about writers procrastinating and doing anything else but writing. See us spend waaay more time pinning pictures for our story on Pinterest than actually WRITING IT.


Because here’s the thing, writers don’t always like writing.


And it’s crazy! No on is making us write. This is our chosen profession or hobby or whatever. We could literally do ANYTHING ELSE with our lives. And it’s not one for the faint of heart. Writing is one of the most vulnerable careers in existence. We spend possibly years of our life poring over a single book, putting our heart and tears into it, just so random strangers can take a day or so to read it and possibly tear it apart. Plus, unless you’re name is J.K. Rowling, you’re not really gonna make that much money selling books.


So why do we do it? BECAUSE WE LOVE IT. But if we say we love it, why do we spend over half our lives complaining about it???


Well, that’s a question I’ve been asking myself for years. It’s a strange paradox that I firmly believe all creatives experience. Whether you’re a writer, artist, dancer, musician, whatever it may be, you don’t always love doing that creative thing you’ve chosen to pursue. Even though…you chose to pursue it.



When I was nine years old and randomly decided to write a book, I was enamored with the idea. I’d almost daily take my Lisa Frank notebook (‘cause I was a cool kid *puts on sunglasses*) and pencil outside, lay on the grass, and write. It was unlike anything I ever experienced, being able to come up with stories on my own, putting them on paper, seeing the images in my head come alive in words. The process was utterly fascinating and delightful. I couldn’t get enough of it. I carried that notebook eeeverywhere. I wrote in the car, at restaurants, on the couch, in bed and staying up way later than I should because I just couldn’t stop. And when I finished that book, I started another. Instead of flipping on the TV, I chose to write because I wanted to. Because it was magical and fun and I couldn’t get enough of it.


That magic stayed with me for a long time. But as I got older, and started studying the craft, and being more careful about how I wrote and what stories I told, some of that fairy dust fizzled out a bit. Because suddenly I wasn’t doing it as a chosen fun activity, but as something serious, as a potential career.


Next thing I knew, writing was a chore.


And I think that’s the answer to this question that’s been bugging me for years. Writing lost a bit of the magic because I was no longer doing it with reckless abandon for fun. When I was that nine year old, I didn’t care how the story turned out, I just liked putting words on page and watching it unfold. I wasn’t writing it for anybody, I was just writing. But as I got older, it became so much more than that.


I think there are multiple factors as to why writing is so often a grueling task for us.


WRITING FEELS LIKE A CHORE BECAUSE

 

    • Once we start seriously learning the craft, that inner editor gets bigger and bigger, and soon we stress over every single word we put on the page.
    • Often we put our own personal struggles into our stories, and putting our literal heart out for the world to see and judge and have opinions on is hard.
    • We’re told often that we should be writing regularly and making goals and having a certain amount of words written within a certain amount of time, etc., etc. and all this pressure turns into guilt that we’re never doing enough.
    • The writing world is a extremely comparative one, and seeing other people’s successes compared to our own makes us want to give up, or try so hard we wear ourselves dry.


There are many other factors, but those are some big ones I see, and all things I struggle with all. the. time. Serious creative killers, amiright?



So very, very often I question my life choices. Why am I pursuing writing when there are so many other outlets out there? When it causes me so much stress and overwhelms me? Because it’s not always just the writing that is hard, but the dozens of other things that are required of writing. I spend waaaay more time just networking and marketing than actual writing. Then there’s the research, editing, constant rejections, conferences, staying vigilant on social media, and on and on and on it goes. And it gets tiring. The work for a writer never really stops. As I talked about in this post, writers don’t really get to clock out like with a regular job. So again I ask WHY? Why do we torture ourselves?


I think the root of that answer is back to the early days of writing, those summer days laying in the grass with a Lisa Frank notebook and nothing but my own imagination holding me back. Because IT’S FUN. And I love it.


As I mentioned a couple of weeks ago, I recently started a new story just because. I haven’t really started a new story “just because” in years. Usually I have a goal in mind or am participating in NaNoWriMo or something. And usually I plot to great lengths and set deadlines for myself and work until my eyes bleed. But then I went to the Realm Makers writers conference, and I was surrounded by hundreds of writers. When I saw the enthusiasm and joy this crazy thing called writing brought to so many others, I remembered. I remembered back to my first days of writing all those years ago when I didn’t have a care in the world and chose to write. These days, it seems like I only write because I feel the need to finish some self imposed deadline, where really I’d much rather be reading a book or watching Netflix or playing a video game or doing anything else. And I hate that.


I miss choosing to write because it’s a task I want to do, not have to do. I miss throwing caution to the wind and just vomiting words on a page and seeing what happens because it’s FUN.



Now, with that said, if you’re writing because you want to make it a career, of course it’s a very good, not to mention important, thing to have goals. To learn to work on deadlines, and to study the craft and not write disastrous novels and never fix them. That’s what I did for years, and as a result I have a dozen messy drafts sitting in my computer and no publishing contract. But this year I started writing intentionally and am truly pursuing getting published. And that’s good. Sometimes we have to be career-minded if, ya know, we’re making a career of it.


But at the same time? We have to remember why we’re choosing this as our career in the first place. Not because it’s a high paying job. Lolololol. Sadly noooo. We do it because at some point in our lives, a story came into our hearts and we put pen to page or pencil to a Lisa Frank notebook or opened our laptops or even scribbled on a napkin in a restaurant, and we found joy.


And that should always be the root of why we write. Because it is something we find joy in, and can’t live without.


Realm Makers reminded me of that. It reminded me that writing does not have to be this chore I dread. It is an activity I LOVE. And though yes, sometimes I need to do hard work and take it seriously and be career-minded, that does not mean I can’t find the joy in the process.


And so one day a few weeks ago I opened my laptop and just started writing because I wanted to. Not because I had to, not because I had spent weeks carefully plotting out the novel, not because there was some goal in mind. But just because I felt like it. How I’ve missed those days.


And you know what? Sometimes those stories you write for the fun of it turn out to be the best work you’ve ever done.


Yes, writing is overwhelming and stressful. It’s laborious and competitive and takes an immense amount of patience and will probably cause lots of discouragement and tears. But when you’re feeling that way, remember back to your early days of writing. Remember those days of reckless abandon. Remember the joy you had stirring thoughts and words into a beautiful mess. And HAVE FUN!


In her closing note at Realm Makers, Mary Weber had this to say:


Remember to have fun. After all, what do you have to lose? We have nothing to lose, because we’ve already been given it all.

 

That struck me so hard. Because she’s right. Through God, we’ve been given it all. And if we seek our writing through Him, what is there to lose? Making up stories is downright fun. Have we not been doing that since we were little kids playing in the backyard? When you’re a writer, you never have to stop playing pretend! You get to do it for a living. And you get to make up literally whatever you want. How is that not the most fun thing in the world???


I don’t want to forget that again. I want writing to once more be an activity I choose to do because I love doing it. Yes, I want to be intentional, but I also want to forever find the joy in this crazy art we call writing.


Because, let’s face it, being able to literally create people and worlds and insane plots and swirl them all into an actual book? That is AWESOME! Being a writer is the coolest thing in the world, guys. And I feel so blessed to have the joy of doing it.

 

TALK WITH ME!

Do you struggle with writing (or any creative task!) feeling like a chore sometimes? How do you combat that feeling and find the joy again? I’d love to hear your thoughts and opinions!

38 comments:

  1. Wow, this was exactly what I needed today, and I'm sitting here with tears on my face because, yes, writing does feel like a chore sometimes--especially if you've been writing for years and working hard and studying and pushing yourself and pacing yourself and trying new things, and persevering....and still don't have anything finished or published. (Not like I'd know anything about that, hehe. :-) ) And this is SUCH a good reminder. For writing--and for ALL of life. What is it that I value so highly that I'm willing to fight for? (To paraphrase a line from The Alamo film.)

    And I LOVE that you acknowledge there's a place for goals and deadlines. They just shouldn't eat up your focus, and the whole perspective is a both-and rather than either-or.

    So thanks for sharing these thoughts and conclusions, and I'm so glad you've found joy in your writing again! *runs off work on my own novel* :-)

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    1. Awwww! *HUGS* It is so, so hard and tiring. And then add health problems on top of it and it gets a thousand times harder. But I LOVE what you said. "What is it that I value so highly that I'm willing to fight for?" YES. That is such a perfect perspective. Because being a writer IS a fight, but we continue to fight because we love it and we know stories have power. GAH. I love that thought so much. You always have such beautiful, impacting things to say. <3

      I TRY to acknowledge that fact. Lol! It all comes from experience, because I tend to put my goals before my own well being which is, erm, not good...obviously. It's something I struggle with daily. This post was mostly a pep talk to myself. ;D

      Thank YOU for sharing your thoughts as well. Your comment blessed me. Happy writing!

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  2. Yas!!! This post is amazing, especially right now when I'm struggling with finding the motivation to write. I'm pretty burnt out from an extreme Camp NaNo and all I want to do is work on developing ideas for my upcoming NaNo novel. So I'm allowing myself to do so because it's reminding me why I love writing in the first place. I might dive back into edits after another month, but for right now, I'm pretty content with where I am.

    Thanks for the reminder, girl! I always love your outlook on life and writing!

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    1. Oh goodness, I feel you so hard. I spent most of this year doing major edits and wow, can it be tiring. It is always so nice to take a break and work on a new story, or even vise versa. I'm so happy you're allowing yourself to do that. I think it's important that we change up what we're doing every now and again so we don't completely lose all motivation for storytelling.

      You're so sweet, Sarah! Thank you for YOUR thoughts. I need these reminders!

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  3. *wipes away tears* This. . . . This is so true, Christine. Ever since school started, I’ve just been stressing out about homework and wondering, since I don’t really have time to write, why am I even doing it?
    Now, this situation has actually gotten quite a bit better, because I dropped the math class that was causing me so many tears. (Never ever take AP Stats. Ever. Worst decision of my life.) A couple days ago, I sat down at my iPad and keyboard and just began to WRITE. And then I remembered why I wrote in the first place. Incredible feeling.

    Anyways, great post, Christine! This is something every writer needs to remember. <3

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    1. D'awwww! Nicole, you sweet thing. It's so hard when there are things keeping you away from writing. I've been struggling with that big time lately. It's easy to enjoy writing when there's time. But squeezing it in every now again between the craziness makes it really feel like a burden. I'm so glad to hear you found the joy again the other day (and were able to lessen your workload some!). That makes me happy!

      Thanks so much, girl! <3

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  4. I have no words. <3 BEAUTIFUL AND PERFECT. THANK YOU.

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    1. *clutches heart* Thank you, Faith! Love you, girl! <3

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  5. OUCH YES - I've been struggling with this A LOT over the past year or so. A lot of my writing has turned into "obligatory" or stuff I've promised to do or took on for other people (guest posts, regular team posts, etc.....), so writing HAS become a chore for me now!

    I don't wike it. LOL.

    Literally, everything you said though...I echo all of it. Wonderful job, Christine!

    Catherine
    catherinesrebellingmuse.blogspot.com

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    1. Ooooh goodness, YES. I love how you put it: obligatory writing. Yes and YES! That's exactly how I've been feeling. I know it's important to have a readership, but keeping up with everything can get very tiring, and then I forgot I DO actually enjoy it.

      I don't wike it either. Hahaha!

      But yes, it's really hard to remember why we do this in the first place. It's something I have to remind myself of practically daily. More often than not multiple times a day!

      Thanks so much, Catherine. I hope this struggle begins to lessen for you. <3

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  6. Um. Yes. Yes, yes, yes, to everything in this post. That is all. <3

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  7. Oh my! I've felt the same way. It took a little incident (concerning water and a laptop and about 30 lost WIPs) to make me realize just HOW MUCH writing means to me. :)

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    1. Oh my goodness. THIRTY lost WIPs??? You poor thing! D: But I so, SO admire you for not throwing in the towel after that, but instead realizing how much you love writing and how important it is to you. That's beautiful!

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    2. Yeah... I may have cried a little... A lot, actually. LOL Aww, thank you!!!!!!!!!!!! <3 You're so sweet. I've filled up FOUR notebooks while my computer's been in the shop. :)

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    3. Oh man, I would have been BAWLING. I can't even imagine! But I'm so glad you're still writing a ton. That is so wonderful!

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    4. Yeah. I've kinda gotten over it. I mean, I REALLY wish I would have saved those stories onto a thumb drive, but it's alright. I'll just start again. Aww, thank you! <3

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    5. OH MY GOODNESS. SO, I SENT MY COMPUTER TO APPLE AND THEY FIXED IT AND THEY SENT IT BACK TODAY AND ALL MY STORIES ARE STILL ON IT!!!!!! SCREAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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    6. OH MY WORD OH MY WORD OH MY WOOOOOORD!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM SCREAMING. I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU JUST AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT IS SUCH A BLESSING.

      You're definitely going to want to put them on a thumb drive. Haha. I also love using the Dropbox program because it stores everything online and you can access all your stuff from any device with it. Just a suggestion if you're looking for easy ways to backup your stuff. ^_^

      BUT ALL YOUR STORIES ARE BACK AND I CAN'T STOP SCREAMING. YAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!

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    7. YAYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my goodness. I can breathe freely now. Yeah, I immediately saved everything onto a thumb drive. :)

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  8. I feel like I say this every single time I comment on your posts, but....CHRISTINE. OH MY GOODNESS. I cannot even put into words how much I needed this. I have been having so much trouble with my writing lately. I've been in a bit of a writing rut the last few weeks, and it feels like every single word I put to the page is...wrong. And my writing HAS been feeling more like a chore than anything else lately. And it hurts so much because I LOVE to write. It's my passion and what I want to do for the rest of my life, but recently I've just been so caught up in the chore of it that I've forgotten what it feels like to love it.

    I guess what I'm just trying to say is thank you. Thank you for writing this post, because I seriously needed to hear this today. <3 <3 <3

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    1. D'awwww, Kenzie! I wish I could reach through the screen and give you a big hug. I am so sorry writing has been hard for you lately. I absolutely understand what you're going through. I have those ruts far more often than I'd like, and it is so saddening when the very thing you love brings you so many struggles. But you WILL get past this. I PROMISE. Even if you have to step back for a while, or just keep slogging on until something clicks, it's going to pass and you'll find the joy again. And often when we feel like everything we write is terrible, we'll go back and find it wasn't bad at all, it was just our mood and perception. I do that ALL the time.

      I do hope this passes soon! I'm saying a prayer for you right now, my sweet Kenzie bean! <333

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  9. I haven't written in a month, so this post came at the perfect time. It's definitely harder than it used to be.I miss the days of writing on the trampoline. I didn't know what I was doing and I didn't care really. Trying to get that feeling back.
    In other words I relate, awesome post.

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    1. It is so, so hard! Not only is there a lot of pressure, but just finding time and the mental energy to actually BE creative and enjoy it feels almost impossible some days. I do hope you're able to find the joy again. *hugs*

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  10. This is a brilliant post, Christine! I think it's super important to remember the reason you love writing and I know that I have been guilty of forgetting it before. I used to have the problem where I felt like I had to dedicate twenty years of my life to every first draft I wrote and I felt extremely guilty if I didn't complete at least three drafts of all my stories. It was only at the beginning of this year that I felt I could let go of old drafts, write them off as learning experience and focus on the stories that had really captured my heart and imagination.
    Thanks for writing this! I need to bookmark it so I can read it every time I feel discouraged and burnt out :)

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    1. Thanks, girl! ^_^ I LOVE your points and agree with them 1000%! Just...YES!!! I, too, had to learn to let projects go if they needed it sometimes. And also remember no writing is wasted writing, even if it's a story that will never see the light of day. EVERYTHING we do is practice and grows us as a writer. It's all important. And it's fine to let things go. I love your perspective on all of that.

      What a compliment! I feel so honored. Thanks again!

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  11. I few years ago I went into a bit of a writing slump. It wasn't fun anymore because I "had" to do it. (Probably a year or so after I started writing more seriously.) I gave myself a few weeks of a break, and jumped back in and never looked back. Some days it's a little harder, but generally I write or edit with gusto and enjoyment. Editing itself feels more like a chore, but after 10 minutes, it no longer feels horrible. I remind myself that it's like running...you have good days and bad days, but you still need to do it. And in the end, you'll feel much better and be glad you did it.

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    1. "I remind myself that it's like running...you have good days and bad days, but you still need to do it. And in the end, you'll feel much better and be glad you did it." THISSS!!! Yes. I LOVE this! And it's so true. I always notice that I have the hardest time with the first few minutes of writing, but if I just stick to it, soon I get totally immersed in it.

      I think it's so wonderful that you enjoy the process most of the time. That's such a beautiful thing!

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  12. Trying to remember why I started writing in the first place is a constant battle for me. Writing is so hard! But then I walk away and realize that no matter what I do or where I go I am inexorably drawn back to stories. I can't help but tell them!
    Honestly I think taking a break over a summer or so really helped me realize why I started writing in the first place. And gave me the needed push to sit down and write, no matter what the words look like!

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    1. Oh, girl, I am with you! So often I wonder if I'm doing the right thing, but like you, whenever I take a step back, I realize I CAN'T step back. Writing is in my blood, and no matter how hard it is, I HAVE to do it. But yes, breaks are wonderful things to realign our perspective. I'm so glad you had that time and discovery. I think when God calls us to write, we simply cannot resist the pull.

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  13. Oh my goodness - this is literally what I've been struggling with lately. A few weeks ago, I picked up a writing book that really niggled at me - reminding me that writing is supposed to be FUN and something I love - not the tortuous chore it has become for me. I'm still working and praying that God will restore the joy!

    Thanks for the timely post, Christine! <3

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    1. I'm so, so sorry you've been struggling with writing. That breaks my heart. But I totally sympathize with everything you're feeling. I've been dealing with the same thing way too often lately. And it's hard. It's SO hard having the thing you love most bring you pain. I'm going to be praying for you, sweet girl. I just know God called you to write, and He's going to get your through this. I do so hope it passes soon. *HUGS* <333

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  14. This is so, so timely for me--it's only been in this past week that I feel like I've recaptured some of that love of writing. I can relate to this so much! (also, I had a Lisa Frank notebook too??? Or at least a traditional composition book I’d graffiti-ed with a whole bunch of Lisa Frank stickers, so basically I can relate on a whole lot of levels:) )

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    1. I'm very happy to hear you've found that love again! That's wonderful news! It's just the worst feeling when writing, the very thing we love, becomes a chore. I do hope that magic stays for you.

      (And yesss! *high-fives* Putting Lisa Frank stickers ON a notebook is the ultimate level of cool. That's hardcore right there. XD)

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  15. What a wonderful post, Christine!! As always. (Not sure if I've ever actually commented before, but I've been voraciously reading your blog for...awhile now...heehee.)





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    1. Thanks so much, girl! And awwwww! I'm so honored you've been a long time reader, and that you'd pop in to comment. That just makes my day. <333

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  16. Writing has felt like a chore sometimes for me. Though I had one of those fun writing sessions last night where I just wrote and the words just flowed and now I can’t wait to get back to the page. It is really easy to get overwhelmed by the business side of writing and forget the creative side.

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    1. The struggle is so real! But that is fantastic you had one of those magical writing sessions! Actually, yesterday I had a really great writing time as well. It's moments like those that remind me why I keep doing this crazy writing thing.

      I hope you continue to have some good writing moments!

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